That look, that stare and that glimpse which judges everything, and makes life harder. For them, it is the perfect condition for a perfect life. For me, it is a hard life which lost every single aspect to move on. The broken pillars.. The messed roots… The blurred principles.. Every single aspect does not exist anymore… Everything is so broken. For everyone, I am the perfect role model people can wish to reach. For me, I question my values, rules and choices. The decisions are no longer genuine. The talks are no longer sincere. The thoughts are no longer pure. The words no longer flow… For them, I am the inspiration to lead a happy life. For me, I am lost clueless for the meaning of happiness. I wonder if it really exists. It is always said that after every night, comes a dawn. But I wonder if this is true. It seems that there is nothing except complete darkness, endless nights, and prevailing coldness. The daylight comes to bring more dark nights, and not vice versa.

I always wonder why I see nothing other than darkness all around. For them, I am the healthiest, fittest, and most beautiful body one can look forward to have. I always wonder if they would only know for real, the huge pain that lies below. If they know the number of medications I have to take, would they still see me the same? I am sure not. People are so superficial. They tend to judge what their eyes see, and believe it. They would never dare to look inside, below that fragile crust called skin. If they were really able to take a deeper look inside, they would definitely know the bare truth. That below that beautiful looking crust, lies endless darkness.