Build Rapport - Win Hearts - Enjoy Success

A few weeks ago, I went for a business development meeting with one of our clients. I was accompanied by my junior colleague as well. As the meeting progressed, I kept on communicating with the client while my colleague kept quite observing what was happening. The meeting went on pretty well and somewhere in the middle of our discussions the deal was signed.

Soon we were on way back, celebrating this victory in our hearts and minds when all of a sudden, my colleague asked me, “Sir, how do you know that his son is going through a chronic ailment? And he lives in Punjab Society and one of his sisters is a Doctor and his such and such relative lives in Askari Society?” I remained silent for a while and then he said, “I am amused by the fact that you have spent almost 70 percent of the time discussing issues that were not related to the business. It was rather more of a conversation between two great friends who had met after a long time”. I smiled and said “Dear, I wasn’t doing it deliberately and it’s a great skill to have which helped me tremendously during my career”.

Dear readers, it doesn't matter what industry you're in or what position you hold. Just knowing how to build rapport can bring you countless opportunities. Why is that? It's because when you have a rapport with someone, he or she will definitely want to help you to succeed.

I will share some great facts with you regarding rapport, whenever I applied these facts in my life I earned a great success.

My first question to all of you, how do you know that a rapport is developing with a person or not? There are a few signs for that, Is there a sense of connection that you get from someone? You both get friendly and happy and start showing care and concern for one another. You feel "in synchronization" and share a common understanding. Your energy levels, tone and body language starts getting similar.

My second question is how many of you think that they experience these feelings and are good in building a rapport?

What are the Tools and Techniques which help building a rapport? There are some basic tools and some special tools which I will share with you. What to do and what not to do with these tools is also very important and entirely change the scenarios.

Before I elaborate these tools & techniques, I would like to mention the Primary Rule of building rapport:

Don't try too hard to create rapport. This seems desperate and off-putting and you can also dent your credibility! Don't be artificial in using any of these tools and techniques. It can simply ruin everything and rapport can never be created.

The BASIC TOOLS are:

• Be culturally appropriate
• Smile
• Relax, hold your head up and maintain a good posture
• Remember people's names
• Listen carefully and attentively

Now some special tools and techniques:

First one is a good rule of thumb. Dress just a little "better" than the people you're about to meet. Don’t be overdressed. If you feel like that, quickly dress down to suit the situation.

Second tool is IDENTIFY SOME COMMON GROUND to establish rapport. First use small talk to find something that you both share. Use open-ended questions to discover personal information: perhaps you attended the same college, share the same hobbies, grew up in the same city, or support the same football club. Sometimes, just express your shared frustration at the traffic that delayed your journeys to work. It can help you to draw closer to someone. Remember,

Third tool is LAUGHTER which is a catalyst for building rapport, but do use humor with care. Not everyone can tell a joke, and what might seem like acceptable sarcasm to you could cause offense to somebody else. If you think there's a possibility that a comment might be taken the wrong way, don't make it.

Fourth tool is EMPATHY, which is all about understanding other people by seeing things from their perspective, and recognizing their emotions. To understand and share another person's perspective, you need to learn what makes him tick. You need to really hear what they say, so that you can respond intelligently and with curiosity.

 According to Tony Robbins..

 “Rapport is the ability to enter someone else's world, to make him feel that you understand him, that you have a strong common bond.”

I urge you all to Build Rapport - Win Hearts - Enjoy Success.