Ali G Quotes
Da Ali G Quotes
Ali G is a fictional character created by the comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, the same guy who brought you the character Borat. The character Ali G is a white rapper that imitates the black hip-hop culture. He is known for his really outrageous way of talking which is something of a cross between ghetto talk and a Jewish accent. Ali G first started out interviewing public figures in the UK for his show. His way of interviewing brought about some very memorable Ali G quotes.
Later with his own film, the character, despite being a hilarious satire, uttered many now well known Ali G Indahouse quotes. Cohen has since retired the character of Ali G but you can still find Da Ali G in Da House quotes on many of his episodes and interviews which are still online. Here is a list of some of Cohen’s best Ali G quotes.
“Is it ‘cos I is black?”
“Boh!”
“Big up yourself.”
“Booyakasha!”
Ali : When you is on your marches is there music?
George : There is lots of music.
Ali : Is you knocking out a drum and bass sound or is it more speed garage?
George : *pause* Er, different drummers have different styles.
Ali : Do you not think you should use a bit of human beat box? Then people could really chill.
Ali : Would you ever marry a protestant girl?
George : Perhaps.
Ali : Well that is a good gesture, no. Wot about marrying a Catholic girl?
George : Possibly because of my faith I would not.
Ali : But what if she was fit?
George : Again, because of my religion, no.
Ali : But what if she had her own car, AND sound system and she wasn’t gonna be stealing money off you all the time. Would you marry ‘er then?
George : I think I could be friends with Catholics.
Ali : Bu’ could you get giggy with them?
George : It’s hard for some people to understand, but because of my faith, no.
Ali : But what if they woz really, really fit?
George : NO.
Ali : Wot about the band the Corrs? Would you marry them?
George : NO!
Ali : So you is telling me that if they walked in ‘ere now and asked you to marry them you wouldn’t.
George : Because of my faith, no.
Ali : All three of them.
George : NO.
Ali : So you really believe this stuff then!
~ Speaking with George Paton Orange Lodge Grandmaster in N Ireland.
“Is you on crack or somethin’?”
“So hows bout them WMD’s and them BLT’s.”
“Can we see the muff please?”
“Respek.”
“So what is the FB… AAAAAYYYY”
“This is going to be like 60 Minutes, but just with more sex.”
Ali : Wot is it the language that they speak ‘ere?
Sue : Gaelic.
Ali : GAY-LICK? What is that botty language or somfin, what is the real name of it?
Ali : What is the vibe with drugs in Ireland? It might be stereotyping or whatever man but I is heard that the Irish is always up for the
crack.
Sue : No, no. Crack in Ireland means having a good time.
Ali : A’ight, for real but crack is a bad drug there is a high but also a low.
~ Talking to Sue Ramsey. A member of the assembly of Sinn Fein.
“Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and something called relationships.”
“What does the G stand for? Two tings… Judge… and Jury…”
“Is Disneyland a part of the UN?”
“This show brings politicalist interviewing into this, the twentieth century.”
“Can I borrow your underwear?”
“Why did Jesus go ’round with all them reindeers?”
Ali : Me don’t know what going on ‘ere.
Mayor : Well there are some people in Ireland who want to become a part the United Ireland and then there are people who would like to become a part of United Kingdom.
Ali : And where does Wogan stand? Is he in the IRA?
~ Talking to the Lord Mayor of Ireland.
“With men and women, does you think that men should marry only one woman? Does you believe in mahogany?”
“I don’t know if you know this, but dolphins ain’t fish. They is like us, they is mammaries.”
“You betta check yo’self before you wreck yo’self.”
“Ain’t dat a bit racialist?”
~ On the slavery of African Americans
“Let’s talk about some conspiracy things. Let’s go back to the grassy knoll. Who actually shot J.R.?”
“When you arrived on the moon, was the people who lived there very friendly, or was they scared of you?”
“Innit a coincidence dat Jesus was born on Chris’mas day?”
“Sex. You has probably heard the word out there. And some of you probably know what it means. For those of you who don’t, it means boning. But with boning comes responsi-lib-ity.”
“Why don’t they teach proper maffs in schools? Why teach in kilos and grams when you should deal in ounces, quarters and eighths?”
Ali : That has got to be the best job no? Watching porno all day. I mean you’ve been doing it for 25 years man and surely no one can keep it hard for that long?
Ali : Why did they ban The Chocolate Orange?
James : Clockwork Orange.
Ali : Whatever.
Ali : Do you not think that the category 18 is too vague. Do you not think that you should ‘av a category that guarantees you muff?
Ali : What swear words make an 18. Is flange an 18?
James : What is flange?
Ali : It’s a word for the punani. What about virgina? Does that make it an 18 coz that is the most dirty word man. That makes it sound ‘orrible.
~ Censorship with James Thurman.
“That’s a very sexist way to talk abou’ dees bitches!”
“Africa ain’t just a country that gave us Bob Marley.”
“What is the different types of hasch out there? We all know that it’s called the bionic, the bomb, the puff, the blow, the black, the herb, the sensie, the cronic, the sweet Mary Jane, the shit, Ganja, split, reefa, the bad, the buddha, the home grown, the ill, the maui-maui, the method, pot, lethal turbo, tie, shake, skunk, stress, whacky, weed, glaze, the boot, dimebag, Scooby Doo, bob, bogey, back yard boogie. But what is the other terms for it?”
Ali : When can you murder someone?
Pickles : Well that’s really a nonsensical question if I may say so because if you are entitled to kill somebody it’s not murder.
Ali : OK, but can you murder someone if someone, lets say called your mum a slag, diss your mama? .. If they call your mum a slag, you ring up the police, the police ‘aint gonna do nothing, you know they laugh at you.
Pickles : It depends I suppose, if you called my mother a slag and I then killed you, provocation can reduce murder to manslaughter,
Ali : So where’s the line then? If they call her slag – manslaughter, if they call her bitch – is that murder?
Ali : Do you think women should be on juries?
Pickles : Oh yes, of course.
Ali : What about when they got the painters in?
Pickles : I’m sorry?
Ali : What about when it’s rag week? How can they be thinking straight, serious! Serious, my woman, she doesn’t know what’s going on, guilty *everyone is guilty when it’s her time, everyone is guilty, I do something small – GUILTY! You should be chopped, whatever.
Pickles : I don’t honestly think you could start asking people intimate questions and say “no, you can’t do this.”
Ali : Exactly, this is why you should not have women on juries.
~ Talking to Judge Pickles about Law.
“One time when me was high, me sold me car for like 24 chicken McNuggets.”
“So, if this show teach you anything, it should teach you how to respek everyone: animals, children, bitches, spazmos, mingers, lezzers, fatty boombahs, and even gaylords. So, to all you lot watching this, but mainly to the normal people, respek. West side.”
Ali G: But what harm has violence ever done?
Media analyst: Oh… death!
Ali G: Yeah, but apart from that.
Ali : Jesus. Does he really have a beard?
Bish : Not necessarily.
Ali : Is he a man or a woman?
Bish : He’s neither a man nor woman.
Ali : Wot? you mean he’s a ladyman?
Ali : But wot has god ever done.
Bish : He made the world.
Ali : Wot he made the world?
Bish : Yes.
Ali : Did he?
Bish : I can only tell you what I believe.
Ali : So you saying god made the world? And since then he’s just chilled.
Ali : What about the Virgin Mary? Is she really a virgin?
Bish : Yes.
Ali : Was she really?
Bish : I believe she was. She found herself pregnant.
Ali : But me know girls who also find themselves pregnant. There muffa’s say wotz been ‘appening ‘ere. They say “listen, you been mucking about? ‘Ave you been drunk maybe? Don’t lie to me.”
~ Interview with The Bishop of Corsham.
Ali G Indahouse quotes are some of the best in satirical humor. Some of Da Ali G In Da House quotes are Cohen’s way of just poking fun at our society in general. There are even a few of the Ali G quotes that bring up a valid point or two (at least in Cohen’s twisted way) about people and their views on the world. While Ali G is not exactly a intelligent and wise character, Cohen’s Ali G quotes have definitely found a place in our society.