Living Darkness

I opened my eyes to see nothing but darkness. I held up my hand to see if it was there. No matter how close I felt myself holding it to my face, I couldn't see it. Laying on the floor, I stared up into the pitch black.

I immediately closed my eyes shut, as tight as I could feel. Trying my hardest to control the darkness that now surrounded me. My whole body was in this nervous quiver. The helpless comfort of my inner eyelids didn't truly make me feel comfortable. The darkness was everywhere and I knew it.

I wanted to get up. But I was terrified of whatever was above me.

I wanted to cry. But I was scared that if someone put me here, they would know I was awake.

I stayed stiff, exactly as I was when I awoke.

My mind started racing towards the infinite possibilities awaiting me in this darkness. I feel like I have no enemies, but whoever really knows what lies in the darkness.

My whole body was starting to feel sore from this constant clench I was holding. I was cramping from a paralyzing fright. I felt suffocated by the understanding of my stillness. This darkness felt as if it was gelatonous. As if it were taking up the space around me. I didn't feel alone. I felt as if there was a presence. Whether being the darkness or something in the darkness, I did not know. I just felt it and it made my heart race faster than I felt comfortable. I opened my eyes to try to get adjusted to the darkness but I looked up and only peered into the black.

"Hello" I said.

"Helllllllloooooo!" with a shiver of nervous. Nothing answered. Not even an echo. Now I felt like what ever I was in was very small. As if the walls were close. Whatever I feel in this darkness is right there. Right next to me. Maybe even staring back at me. These thoughts made tears fall from my eyes. I just didn't want to move. I didn't want to know. Me being right here, I am alive. Me moving in this darkness is a risk I just didn't want to take.

Am I going to die here?

I felt paralyzed from fear beyond my physical. My thoughts felt as if they had no where to go. Circling around different manifestations of darkness.

Maybe who ever put me here just wants me to die this way. So frightened I starve in darkness.

Maybe who ever put me here is in here and waiting for me to make a move and get me then.

Maybe they have everything already set up to hurt me if I move.

Are my surroundings rigged for pain I won't be able to see coming?

*CLICK*

My heart nearly jumps out of my chest. The first sound I've heard from the darkness that I knew wasn't me. It was some what of a familiar click. It made me think of metal. My mind starts to race.

"Whose there! Please help me! Please"

The darkness didn't answer. What was the click? My mind ran back to the past trying to remember the last place I was. Trying to figure out why I would be here, and why that would cause a click. Where was I before this moment? I scoured my mind for clues, but it was as if my last memory prior to this moment was dark too. I felt consumed by only the reality of the unknown.

*CLICK*

This time I jumped and broke free from my paralysis. I reached out into the darkness to feel nothing above me. I sat up.

"Is anyone there? Please. Please. Say something!"

The silence was deafening as if the click never happened. I decided to reach around me. Nothing in all directions. I start to imagine that the furniture in this room is pushed against the wall. I have no idea why. But I began to reach. I began to reach far into the darkness. The less I felt, the more I crawled in the darkness. One arm outstretched, the other holding my balance. Even when I thought I would reach a wall, I never did.

After crawling for a while I had no idea what I was in or how large it was. Each shuffle made the darkness grow in size. I grew exhausted from crawling and just laid down and gave up. What am I fighting? What am I up against? Where am I? Without answers to these questions, what am I moving for? I close my eyes.

The acceptance made me cry uncontrollably. An extremely unconcious self pity. I didn't want to die. I didn't even know if I would. As I laid there, I saw a candle sitting in a window in my minds eye. The light flickering, giving evidence of life inside. Were these my thoughts? Had the darkness begun to communicate? I saw the candle so vividly. Realer than anything else I could remember. Somehow it offered me comfort. Somehow it let me know there are others. I had no idea which others gave me this comfort, but it was tangible. It was palpable.

I felt something touch my ankle and I screamed. I started crawling as fast as I could into the darkness. As far away from what ever it was. As I reached further into the darkness, I felt it reaching for me. I got up and starting sprinting, losing my balance without the gift of perception. As I sprinted and stumbled, I felt the something touch my leg again. This time it was more of a nudge that almost knocked me to the floor. This time I felt more of whatever it was, and I slowed to a walk.

Whatever it was was bigger than I would be able to run from.